Reflections on Attaining 60 Years

I am 60 years old today. As a child, I thought that was about as old as anyone could EVER get to be...and I remember it so clearly. This birthday is a big one for me although I cannot tell you why it would be bigger than 59 or 45 or 30. I have been celebrating it since October 31 when I met my three childhood friends (Junior High, High School, College) to celebrate the arrival of all of us at this amazing age of wisdom and experience.

It was an amazing weekend and I left there with a sense of euphoria, and love and acceptance. These are friends with whom I have shared my secrets and whose secrets I hold in my heart, whose warmth and unfettered love I accept and expect no matter how many months and years may separate us. They are my history and part of my present and I expect will be there for my future. We re-meet periodically and pick up almost from the point where we last left off. We laugh, we cry, we seem to enjoy the same methods to relax - a glass of wine, a table with a view, a hot tub and an explosion of words and ideas. I could never really express how much they mean to me and yet I am sure they know because I know what I mean to them. I am grateful for the concreteness of that pillar of knowledge.

We met when we were still clumsy, and hungry for love and relationships and eager to be the grownups we would become. We played with each other, laughed with each other, hurt each other, worried about each other, covered for each other. We grew up and left each other behind. We lived our separate lives, endured our sorrows, embraced our joys, dragged our way through our individual drudgeries. And yet, somehow, amazingly, we found ways to reconnect over the years that seems stronger every time we meet. I know this is rare and our relationship is an ember that glows eternally in my heart.

Bless you Melissa, Sue, and Doris. Thanks for letting me be the spoiled-little-sister-brat to your enduring-big-sisters-of-patience-and-understanding. Thank you for letting me take more from our relationship than I give. Thank you for always being there.

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And next, I have to share the warmth I feel for my family. I am a blessed woman for I am truly loved by those that mean the most to me. So here goes.

Mike, thank you for believing the foolish idea that a relatively inactive 60 year old grandmother can still ride a bike, and for putting your own skeleton at risk to ride with me. And thanks for sharing in your letter some of the very special and funny thoughts and ideas that have bound us together so tightly over the last 38 years. You are the music in my heart.



Anna, thanks for listening to all of my messages and incorporating them in your text and in your life. And thanks for knowing all the little things you need to say to remind me that I am valued in your life. You make my wings flutter.

Amy, thanks for pretending that it doesn't scare you that we share so much personality and neurosis. Thanks for pushing all of my buttons and making me learn and grow. And thanks for appreciating the good parts of you that are me. You set my feet to tapping.

Vicki, you have always been my adored and idolized big sister. Yes I always knew that you raised me, that you ordered me and that I was your prize. And I always wanted to be you because you were so dazzling. Your words exposed all my raw edges and turned them into satin, making me feel it was ok to be the person I am inside. You started my words aflowing and give me voice.

And Tony, thank you for being the rock for all of us, the host, the helper, the inspirer of mountain lionesses and red-headed giggles. Thanks for your kindness, generosity and foreseeing of necessities. You make me swell with pride for knowing you - OH NO NOT THAT!

There is so much in my heart to say to all of you -- I have lived my life feeling selfish and vowing to be generous and loving, to make up for it. You all have made me feel I succeeded in my fondest wishes and dreams--that I have made you feel loved and appreciated, and that I have given you each a place to feel at home. That is all and more than I could ever hope for. Thank you all for blessing my life.

Pharewell Phoebe the Phairy Princess

She was a funny little quirky thing. There are things I will never forget -- how she "chose" me, how she claimed the soft spots in my lap for her resting places, how she climbed up behind my neck when we drove alone somewhere, how she ran full out to visit the neighbors, throwing her legs out in all directions and yet managing to cover the ground in front of her.

She was afraid of everything and nothing - she charged full out at any intruder and with great bluff and bluster tried to frighten them away from her family and yard. And her family was whomever she was with on any given day.





She was crazy - everyone said so - She wouldn't chase the squirrels or wildlife but tried to run down golf carts and big people. She would go outside and find a sunny place in the yard and stretch and roll and lie there soaking the sun into her black fur, then come back to my chair and beg to be picked up and held for hours on end.

She waited patiently to be lifted into bed at night and snuggled with her feet on my back and pushed herself up close to Mike to dream. She licked her paws, the porch, the driveway, my face, incessantly. She finally let Dean and Pat pick her up in her later years, deciding after nearly 8 years that they probably were friendly, not foe. She would tolerate Dean's lap if he held a treat in his hands, knowing that once he'd fed her, she could hop down and return to the safe lap.

She was quite a queen and after 4+ months, we still look for her when we come home from shopping trips. I still expect her to run out the back door into the garage when I arrive home, crying and gasping about how long I've been away - racing up and down the hallway as I carry in my luggage and change clothes, yelping her dismay at the length of time she must be patient.

Pharewell Phoebe - you have ruined us all for wanting another pet to love. None could replace you.